People = Shit

Religion is Bullshit

2005-01-10T02:31:00.000-08:00

Religion is an illusion designed by the mentally ill to keep human civilization from reaching the stars. An illusion created to prevent humans from accepting that they die and decay away like every other living being, and to effectively control the gullible, stupid majority of the human species

Relationships.... URGH!

2004-12-26T15:52:00.000-08:00

Relationships. Friend of Foe?

No-one can describe that inseparable feeling of your heart fluttering to the frantic butterflies that engage your stomach when you see the man of your dreams walking down the street towards you, nor the feeling of the knife being turned in your heart when you watch him walk past you and into the blonde bimbo behind you, who is wearing half the amount of clothing that any respectable person would wear on any given day. All of us have experienced this at least once before, so you're definitely not alone. We'll get them, just you wait.I put my question to you, is the feeling of the knife being turned in your heart justified by the five minutes of complete engrossment that you have for that special someone? Is it worth feeling butterflies and a fluttery heart, knowing that in less that five minutes the knife could be turned, your smile turn

Being in my late teens, oh so old, I have already seen the scum that is around and about central Hamilton. The excuses that some break-ups are based on are so ridiculous and more often than not, have a subliminal message behind them. For example, just the other day my best friend came to me and said, "John broke up with me."
Interested, I asked "Why?"
She replied, "He needs to find himself."
I could not believe it.
"He needs to find himself." Is the equivalent to, "I want to sleep with everything with a set of breasts, a perky arse and two legs."

Another excuse that has been used since sliced bread first graced the earth is, "It's not you, it's me."
Subliminal message, "It's you."

Not only lame excuses for break-ups, males are the masters of deception. Making you think that they are "God's gift to women" with their gorgeous smelling aftershave, sly smiles, big eyes and soft touches. They pull you into the game that rules their existence, getting as much 'tits and arse' as they possibly can in the shortest amount of time. "I just use my charm and smile. You can't resist that smile." - Typical sleaze from town.

Saturday night in Downtown Hamilton is the 'meat market'. This is where the fun, for them, begins. Checking out 'the talent', or lack of, is what most Hamilton males aged 18-30 call 'going out on the town with the boys'. Anything, and I mean anything, that walks past is semi-tight pants, showing a bit of cleavage and looking half, if not more, drunk is bound to get some sort of comment or attention from the mindless males that surround bars and nightclubs.
"Check her out"
"Nice arse"
The classic, "How you doin'?"

If you're anything like me, I really hope you're not, you will take these 'compliments' to heart and think that they actually care. This is where the fun for them skyrockets and where the pain niggles in our stomachs. Taking someone home from town is the worst mistake, there should be warning signs around town just to make sure everyone knows what stupid decisions you can make.
Who cares about the "Look under 25 and you will be ID'd" signs! Replace them with "NO! DO NOT TAKE THAT SLEEZE HOME THAT YOU FOUND IN THE OUTBACK!"

Scenario: You have taken someone from town home. You think they are nice and that they actually care; partially for you, but care more about what you can do for them. You wake up the next morning, after sleeping with them, to either find them gone, to find them hideously ugly or on the bright side, to find that they are still there. DO NOT BE FOOLED IF THEY ARE STILL THERE! They are probably just sleeping off the hangover and couldn't care less where it is they are sleeping, whether it be a gutter or a nice warm bed.
Plan of Action: If they are still there, don't be fooled into thinking that they actually care, they don't, really, they don't. Imagine they aren't still in your bed, get up, forget everything, go to work, go to the gym, DO SOMETHING, but DO NOT, I mean do not, think that anything else will come of the one night you had with a sleaze from town.

I was once told that the early settlers had to pan through a lot of dirt and scum to find their tiny gold nugget, I guess that finding a decent guy is much the same. We can't live with them and we can't live without them. Males. Who'd have 'em?

Ben....

2004-12-25T03:16:00.000-08:00

loking at you
i know your different
you have depth and meaning
unlike anyone else

undreneath and behind the person you seem
is sumone i want to love and hold
you hide behind your apperance
but i like it

i like that i know the real you
the puppy ur mum gave you
the gentle loving person you are when you with me
the freak you are on the outside

i love your piercings
i love your hair
i love your eyes
i love your heart

the outside and inside of you are so different
your insecurities make up the person i adore
i adore you
outside and inside

holding me, i know im safe
kissing me, i know im loved
touching me, i know im wanted
smiling at me, i know your happy

you bring something special everytime you stay
you come empty handed
but with arms wide open

you kiss me softly
you tickle me, i love it
i want you to be with me
im falling for you

as each day goes by
im falling further
with no resistance
i know its right

the freak on the outside
the puppy on the inside
i love it all
i adore you

2004-12-25T02:13:00.000-08:00

guys confuse the fuk outa me!

end.

I Miss Him

2004-12-22T20:50:00.000-08:00

why wont he just leave me alone?
hes not even anywhere near me but i cant stop thinking about him

how can you be with sumone when all you want to do is be with sumone else?

the one thing i want and i cant have it
i was so close
but he was taken away, not really taken but he went away

i thought i was his world
he met my friends
he sed nice stuff
and then wham

gone

are all guys like that??
i am yet to meet one who isnt

i think of his face and i get shivers
i think of his hugs and my skin crawls
i think of how he made me feel when he was with me

i cry

tears run down my face
why?
deciept, lies, prince charming?

Random Thoughts

2004-12-22T20:38:00.000-08:00

why the fuk i bother is beyond me

everything hurts and i start to begin why im even here

something turns out right... for a second... you think you have a purpose
you dont

"human waste" - a new tattoo my friend has scrawlled across his back...

sitting at home thinking, dreaming of 'nice things' REALITY CHECK! you are at home alone, ALONE!

boulevard of broken dreams seems more normall than not... walking alone, your shadow the only one that walks beside you

guys are like cancer...
guys fuk you then leave you
cancer sucks a cell dry then moves onto the next...
PLEASE SHOW ME THE DIFFERENCE!!!
now honestly... who the fuk wants cancer??

i asked my friend why he was racist... he told me that he wasnt and that he hated everyone equally.... quite a smart responce i thought...

The one i adore

2004-12-21T14:46:00.000-08:00

filter filter find the answers
doubtful stare was it true?
was it what you wanted
is the world a better place?
alone on the porch twist my finger,
paint my dreams you put me here
horrid glance disgusted eyes...
tell you said
peer in my window tighten my straps
watch me spit the pain the pain
rip the wound cyclic agony
again you say keep pushing
open do you want to see you think you can
understand you think you know what its like
do you choke on being alive?
is it too much to bear?
does the thought of another day reduce you to tears?
depressed agony did I ask for your fuckin opinion?
don't tell me how it is
don't tell me what you drempt up
you don't have the answers
back up your blame train
shut your mouth and shut your mind shadowed eyes
and crippled tongue
a scar inside, a tear did run
what did I think
where was my mind
why the truth was I to find
what I thought it is not real
another joke i do not feel
I understand not of this trapped in nothing
I walk alone I can't find it
show me my fucking reason
spit on me, scapegoat whore
hate me hate this, point your finger
what were you thinking,
make me see it is not real
floating backward sidealistic prick knows not what is true
kick me again theres still life in this bodystir the fucken pot,
it boiling over motherfucker be the victim,
oh please lets cross the line, join me you don't understand
do you think I really want to know
psychoanalyse me, give it a name
I'm hanging from the tree
deal me my final blow motherfucker
each time I lose a little more,
take whats left till I'm nothing but hollow, filled only with the pain of so many wounds.
In a world full of hate how can one hope to love....

2004-12-18T21:46:00.000-08:00

Why be with someone when you know that its not going to last?
Possibly because you know that they are the most alternatively attractive person you are going to see in your lifetime, possibly because you are sick of the positive crap that everyone of your other friends tells you on a daily basis and they are real and know what a shit world we live in, possibly because they are the complete opposite to the person you will end up with and want to see what you are going to miss out on for the rest of your life... who knows?

So why waste your time?
Possibly because you deny the fact that you are falling for them like a tonne of bricks and are pretending that if they decide to go off with sumone else that you will brush it off and move on? Possibly because you are scared to let go and move on
Possibly because you are a fucking mental nut case who needs help but being with them makes you feel normal?
All of the above...........................................

Blah

2004-12-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

Why the fuk people bother with the bullshit that surrounds them is beyond me.
People shooting shit... People lying... People turning into the caniving pieces of crap that end up running the world, they used to be so nice...
It never ceases to amaze me the amount of selfish acts people put onto others just to get themselves ahead... Not thinking how what they do and say is going to affect the person they are sitting next to on the bus or the random they see down the street every morning... Just as long as they get ahead its all tha matters.